What are friends for?

"Friendship is a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of putting the other's interests before one's own. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them." (online source: Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship)

It's funny how when I reflect on my past, I tend to see the faces of oh so many colourful characters that has crossed my path. I suppose it is only natural when you reflect in your memories, it tends to project a certain 'caption' (if you may) or moment in time. Whenever I sit down and think ponder on my friends, the bond we had, the things we did, the enduring hardships we faced together and the best of times we shared...it never fails to touch me. A cascade of various emotion would run through me. Sometimes, it makes me very sad that it was in the past that we had a blast but I know that most of us are either fine, happy or just moving along with our lives the best way we can. I truly do admire and cherish the kind of friendship that after so many years apart (and at times this means 3 years gap with no contact or just the occasional emails), we are just as confortable of each other as it was just yesterday we sat down and had coffee or teh-tarik together laughing at ourselves silly. Very few of them I have indeed. It these guys that made me realised the kind of person I was and the kind of person I would like to become. I owe them so much.

When I was in college, I learned the true value of friendship and it was also then that I had decided I would have given up almost anything for the select few. It's these friends that I feel one must cultivate the very strongest sense of loyalty. Not so much because you owe it to them but rather...you owe it to yourself to do so.

As we grow apart with our own lives, most of the time new names associated to my friends are to me just names really, but I think it's important to try and orientate ourselves with the updates of their lives no matter how far apart we are (physically and emotionally). I'm never really sure of what Bono's lyrics to One by U2 means but my interpretation of it is really a reflection of one part of the friendship I had to my select few. For the likes of Shez, Midnitelily and Adra (to name a few), some of the lines in that song really reflect the history, the sacrifices, the stupid things I've done against them and the type of friendship we shared at (least on my part aand interpretation of it). Yes, there were times I was just being plain stupid and childish to some. But yet, at the drop of a hat, I'd like to be there for them if I could. For me, the relationship I had with them can, at times be more than what I had with my siblings. Partly is due to age gap I have with them.

The roles each of everyone play to me is as varied as each individual. And the really funny thing is, 9 out of 10 I wouldn't have expected to have develop this strongest bond with any of them. For shez, he is the only one I can refer to as a class mate from primary school to secondary and right up until college. And most of the time we were just acquitance or distant friend. The bond grew over the years I suppose. Plus, he's my only friend in the neighbourhood since not many kids lived in my street and his was the nearest to mine. Indeed since childhood, I always envied those who had friends living in close proximity (such as TTDI,Kg Tunku or Damansara) I would also credit him for saving lives of mine and 4 others once. Fatigue on the highway almost did us in once. I was young and stupid.

Midnitelily reminds me of me a whole lot. Not so on the talent department but more so on the personality traits and psychological sentiment. Indeed, whatever bitter pills and joys of life we've both experienced individually in life is most appropriate to learn from collectively. The relationship had always been a touch-n-go basis but yet it has always worked that makes me I wonder if we could've somehow been connected similar to the "Matrix-like womb" or had already been acquinted in the past life. Again, that's a representation of the trust, love and independence we have of each other.

Much can also be said about Adra too. She was to me a very mentor-sister like. At a time when I was really growing up and had felt lost and needed to seek elsewhere for inspirations, there she was always always ready to open my eyes to the things that would normally be obvious to me. The best thing I get to share with Adra is able to learn through her, how to grow up and blossom into someone respectful to society.

Yet, these are just some clear examples of the very best.

There have been many more over the years and even those that was just for one moment in time. I remember once upon a time when a mate cracked when his ex did something to him...he wailed right in front of me. What was I to do? It sure was a first for me but yet, it was a sense of duty to friendship.

For me that's what being a friend is. Ready to care and support in the best way you can in an instant with less thought of my own welfare. Previously, when I didn't know how to balance family and friends, I used to get into scrapes with my father. My friendship rated higher too at one point. If I had to be there for a friend, I just had to be there...no questioning it. If a friend called me and wanted to talk all night, I'll do my best to open my eyes. It's my devotion to them and yet, I don't think I'll ever do enough to have repaid them all they have been to me. Thinking about it, perhaps only the best of my friends have ever saw the best of me and some of the worse and actually understood it (besides my family who may can write volumes of the whole lot of me). These is my small contributions to the friendship...because to me, thats's what friends are for.

The Yard

I remembered that many years ago, there was a time when we used to enjoy the evening just lazing about with a white plastic picnic basket, some candles and a tikar at the front yard of Sec-12. That was a time before any of us grew up. My eldest sis was about to leave for the UK and my parents just enjoyed the evening nights. One of my sister would bring with her a book (ie. The Amazing Stories) and tell us a visual sypnosis of it which tends to frighten me! It was an adventure (although, I never knew how we put up with the mozzies!). That yard meant so much to me and it has witnessed most of my life. Shortly after we moved into Sec-12, the yard was almost completely unearthed. Heh, it was the only time I could play war-games with an actual crater to fight in. We actually had 2 bamboo trees growing from 2 corners of the perimeter wall anda tall tree growing from the middle of it. It always made me feel good to cycle laps around that big tree.

I had so much joy when we used to play with fireworks on the front yard. My creativity would just lit up.

The yard was also the scene where I spent hours refining my so called first touch and free kicks with a soccerball and dream of hitting the all important winning goals with simple tap-in ala Roberto Baggio. It was during this phase that I had a hand in destroying the pitch on the yard (and possibly a whole lot more).

Since then, the yard has transformed a number of times. Sec-12 even added a new wing which was built on what used to be my home-made badminton court.

We don't spend as much time in the yard anymore. We've all grown up and moved on - but the last time I was home and on a good day, I enjoyed strolling in the yard whilst puffing on a cigarette and recalling the good days. It just takes you back you know. Of course, whilst time travelling in my mind I'd would be awoken by the curious younger one's asking what I'm doing outside. They have limited access to the yard you see and would like the opportunity to join me when I'm spotted.

So now, it's the next generation that hang out at the yard and the older the get, the less limitations for them to play at the yard. But in comparison, the yard has gotten much smaller than it used to be. For a time, it wasn't a yard for me, it was a whole field! With computers, cyberspace, satellite TV, PS2, etc. etc. it's no wonder that they don't prefer the yard anymore. Even I find the cyberspace fun and educational. Besides, what can the yard offer that can be physically challenging and fun for them? Afterall, the yard is just a yard just like anywhere else.